Unfaithful
by mrs draco malfoy xx
Summary: Song fic Randler! Rachel's thoughts and feelings about the dilemma she's in.


**Unfaithful**

**Hey I've never done a song fic before so I thought I'd try it out. This is based on the song 'Unfaithful' by Rihanna. It's Randler of coarse :), hope you enjoy :). **

**Story of my life  
Searching for the right  
But it keeps avoiding me  
Sorrow in my soul  
Cause it seems that wrong  
Really loves my company**.

"Honey, I'm going out." I say to my husband Ross.

"But you were out all night Rach. We never spend any time together anymore." Ross says sadly.

"I know, but my friend Michelle's in town and I haven't seen her in ages." I lie.

"Oh, right." The hurt in Ross' face is painfully clear.

**He's more than a man  
And this is more than love  
The reason that the sky is blue  
The clouds are rolling in  
Because I'm gone again  
And to him I just can't be true.**

The expression on Ross' face hurts me. He's such a good man. But I can't help hurting him. He doesn't deserve someone like me. He deserves someone who will treat him right. But I can't find the will to leave him. There's something keeping me from packing my bags and leaving.

**And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful  
And it kills him inside  
To know that I am happy with some other guy  
I can see him dying.**

Oh, he knows. He knows alright. I can tell by the expression on his face and in his voice everytime I go out. I can see I'm killing him. But I can't stop. It's like a drug to me. Almost impossible to quit.

**I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
Everytime I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside  
I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...  
A murderer.**

I turn around and look at him before I leave. He's sat on the couch, head in his hands. I so wanna go over and wrap my arms around him and hold him, tell him everything's okay. But I can't. I can't lie to him anymore then I already am. He's so hurt. So dead inside. And I'm responsible for this. I'm a murderer.

******I feel it in the air  
As I'm doing my hair  
Preparing for another date  
A kiss upon my cheek  
As he reluctantly  
Asks if I'm gonna be out late  
I say I won't be long  
Just hanging with the girls  
A lie I didn't have to tell  
Because we both know  
Where I'm about to go  
And we know it very well.**

The amount of night shifts I've been doing. The amount of friends I've been meeting up with. The amount of nights I've come back late. He knows each time what I've really been doing. But he never asks. Never asks questions. He just accepts it. I wonder why, I wonder why I'm never asked. I always come up with the conclusion that he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to ask, he doesn't want to hear the truth from me, and maybe, just maybe he's holding onto false hope. Maybe he still trusts me.

**Our love, his trust  
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head  
Get it over with  
I don't wanna do this  
Anymore.**

I leave the house. I leave him just sat there, drowning in his own misery. I hate this, I hate this so much. But I can't stop. I won't stop. I've tried. But something always draws me back. I'm killing my own husband. Murdering him with my lies. I would rather just tell him. Just tell him, get it out, instead of slowly killing him like this. But I can't. There are complications. And I love the thrill of keeping this secret. Although Ross knows what I'm doing, he doesn't know, he doesn't know who with. And I know, telling him, would not just kill him, but others too.

**I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
And everytime I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside  
And I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...  
A murderer (a murderer)**

I knock on his door. He smiles as he opens it, kissing me. We can't stop and we won't, even though it's wrong and we should. We're in love, forbidden love some people call it.

Chandler Bing. My husband's best friend. My best friend's husband. The second person involved in the murder of two innocent people.

**Well? What did you think? Please review and tell me! :) x**


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